Nigerian singer and songwriter Tems has shared details about a difficult past relationship, describing it as toxic, obsessive, and emotionally draining.
Speaking during a recent interview with Angie Martinez, the Grammy-winning artist reflected on the experience and how it conflicted with her personal understanding of love and relationships.
According to the singer, the relationship was marked by a pattern of possessiveness and control from her partner. She explained that the experience was emotionally exhausting because the person involved did not recognise their own behaviour as harmful.
Tems noted that one of the most difficult aspects of toxic relationships is the lack of self-awareness from the individual creating the problem. In such situations, she explained, the person responsible for the emotional strain often believes their actions are normal or justified, which makes resolving the situation extremely difficult.
The artist said the experience challenged her deeply held beliefs about what love should represent. Rather than feeling supportive and healthy, the relationship created a dynamic that felt restrictive and emotionally draining.
Her reflections highlight a broader conversation about emotional well-being and boundaries in relationships. Tems’ openness about the experience has resonated with many fans who view her honesty as an important reminder of the need for self-respect and personal awareness in romantic partnerships.
Tems has steadily grown into one of Nigeria’s most influential global music voices, with her music and public appearances often addressing themes of personal growth, identity, and emotional resilience. Her comments in the interview offer a glimpse into the personal experiences that have shaped both her outlook and her artistry.




